Gone but Never Forgotten

Today is a hard day for some reason. Nothing special (or horrible) happened on this day in the past that I know of…but I just can’t shake this sad feeling I have. I had a dream last night about my Uncle Grant. I’ve been having them a lot since he passed away for some reason and I don’t know why… Hopefully writing about it helps. J

I found out my uncle had stage 4 Lung Cancer this last February. It was scary to think about at first because his girlfriend had just given birth to their baby Stacey Mai just two months before.

We all tried to stay positive though and constantly gave him words of encouragement. We would Skype or chat on FB messenger whenever we both were online. He was the one person that never judged me because he knew that he made mistakes too…

I have so many great memories of him that I am tearing up thinking about all of them. He was a great man that never made a promise that he didn’t intend to keep.

I remember sitting on my parent’s bed in Loomis and calling him while he was in Taiwan. I could have talked with him for hours, but international calls aren’t exactly cheap and I usually got booted off of the phone fairly quickly.

I remember being in kindergarten and asking what type of person I should marry and he joked that if my future husband could get past my dad and him then they were golden…and not to fear because if it never happened I would smarten up and marry for money. Haha. Years later he taught me the beauty of Ross. He would take me there to buy “expensive” name brand gifts for his many girlfriends. He would let them think that he spent all of this money on them when he was really saving a bundle because he was shopping at Ross.

Then there was our late night yahoo chats when I was in high school and never slept. He usually would introduce me to his current girlfriend or take me on a tour of his new apartment. It was great. It was a way to spend time with him while he was so far away.

I have to say though that my favorite memory of him was his surprise birthday party this year. He was already pretty sick and my grandmother had told me that she didn’t think he had ever had a birthday party that was just for him. I decided it was unacceptable for a 51 year old man to have never had a birthday party and decided to throw him one. Now I got a lot of help from my mom, sister and grandma…but in the end it turned out great. It was Batman themed because that was his favorite superhero growing up and I thought he needed all the help he could get. We all showed up and walked into his room with batman masks on. I will never forget his face as long as I live. It was pure shock and bewilderment mixed together. He didn’t recognize us with the masks on…not even my grandpa! It was great. We ate batman cake, had singing Batman balloons…the works. It was here that I asked him if he would walk me down the aisle in the California wedding later in the year. He told me he would be honored to and I told him that I would hold him to it.

Unfortunately my uncle lost his battle with Cancer almost 3 months ago on August 6, 2011…just shy of 6 months after learning he had it. I had spent almost 48 hours straight in the hospital because I didn’t want him to be alone. Nobody deserves to be alone.

Uncle Grant kept his promise though…he was at my wedding on October 23 and walked me down the aisle. I had ladybugs everywhere. I remember telling him when he was sick that his Oncologist told me that they were the universal sign of Cancer patients and that I would know it was him checking up on me every time I saw one. About half way through the reception one of my uncles pulled me aside and showed me a lady bug on a leaf in the corner where they were all sitting. I smiled at the time, but I really wanted to cry. He kept his promise. J

What happened to him wasn’t fair and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Now I may have idolized him as a child, but he definitely earned my respect as an adult. He was my uncle, my Godfather and most of all a friend. I am soooo thankful for all of those apartment tours now and the Skype chats that we had. I was given a chance to get to know my uncle when he lived so very far away and at the end of the day that is what I will remember. J